Whether you’re pregnant with your first kid or having another, there’s no question that having a baby brings a lot of fear and uncertainty about the future.
Before our son was born, I had so many friends tell me that “life was over” after having kids – and it’s something that in some ways, seemed to be true for them. For example, most of our friends with kids never wanted to meet up anymore, stopped going on vacations and complained that they didn’t sleep more than 4 hours a night.
I don’t know about you, but to me, that sounded like torture.
I’m not saying that I wasn’t excited about being a parent (even though that still feels weird to say I’m a parent), but I was really worried that having a baby would seriously impact my ability to have a career, cancel all our vacations and basically just totally change life as we knew it.
The thing is, it really didn’t.
We still go on vacation a lot, I sleep a decent amount at night and our business has quadrupled in the time since our son was born. I’ve had a lot of people tell me it’s just because we have an easy baby, but to be totally honest I don’t think that’s true. Our son is stubborn, constantly active and would be the center of attention 100 percent of the time – if we let him.
Because we own our own business, we were really adamant from the beginning that the baby had to fit into our life schedule, not the other way around. We love him to pieces and spend the majority of our time with him, but we also know that the only way we will stay sane is if there are some boundaries.
That being said, there are some definite changes that come with having a baby, and here are the ones that I think are the most significant.
You Change Your Sleep Schedule
The first few months, there’s no way around getting up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. For the first month, I got up twice a night to feed Jack, and the second month it had slowed down to waking up once per night. We worked a lot with him on sleep training, so he was consistently sleeping through the night by about 2 months old, which meant we could go on vacation when he was 3 months old and actually enjoy it.
Our sleep schedule still definitely changed though, and we now find that we get up earlier (around 6-7am) when Jack wakes up, rather than sleeping in a little later like we would have normally. If you get up that early for work anyway then it might not be a big change for you, except for the fact that you still have to feed the baby after they wake up, which adds some time to your morning routine.
You Are Forced to Be More Organized
I can’t stress this enough: the more organized you are after having a baby, the easier your life is. We always have our baby bag packed and ready to go, so it’s not a mad dash out the door when we need to leave.
You also have to always be thinking ahead about when the baby will need to eat, which is definitely doable, but means that you really can’t just skip out the door without making sure you have plenty of food/milk for the next meal. By the time Jack was around 4 months old, he was eating mostly on our schedule plus an afternoon snack (which makes it easier to plan), but you still have to make sure you have baby-appropriate food with you and snacks in case they get really hungry at a weird hour.
You Have to Think of Someone Else First
One of the biggest things that I noticed in terms of life changes was having to constantly think of our son before what we want, which honestly comes pretty naturally, but it’s still a transition. In the past, we might have split a bottle of wine at night while watching a movie and gotten a little tipsy, but that’s not something we would do now, because we always want to be prepared in case Jack needs something.
That’s not to say that you can’t do fun things at all – we definitely do, and wine nights are still a thing at our house. However, now they’re just mixed with a bigger dose of responsibility, and you never really can “let go” because you always want to be alert and ready in case you’re needed.
….But Not Let Your Baby Dictate Your Life
That being said, I also think boundaries are super important, and we really don’t believe in raising a child dictator or letting our son’s schedule totally rule our lives. When we go out to dinner, he comes with us (most of the time). Because we started doing this when he was about a month old, he’s gotten super used to it and is almost always really well-behaved in public.
We also both work from home, so we knew from the beginning that we had to raise Jack in a way that would help him to be independent and build confidence in his ability to play by himself, otherwise we would get no work done and our business would tank. On an average day, we get up with Jack in the morning and feed him, and then work for a few hours while he plays and then naps.
I personally think mom guilt is BS, and that working while having a baby not only shows them how to be responsible and work hard, it’s also good for your own mental sanity. If you are a stay-at-home mom that’s also incredible – the point is that it’s your choice and you should feel good about it either way.
You Have to Work to Prioritize Yourself
I think one of the most important things in keeping yourself sane after having a baby is also learning to take time to prioritize yourself – whether that’s your daily workout, cooking dinner in the evening with your family or clearing your schedule to watch Netflix after the baby goes to bed.
I honestly do pretty much all of these things on a daily basis – I schedule a workout that I can do at home or can take Jack with me to, Omri and I cook dinner together and by around 8pm we clear our schedule and watch a movie together or have a date night at home.
The reason I think prioritizing yourself and your relationship with your significant other is so important is because you are only human, not a machine. While I would like to think that I could work 24/7 and take care of a baby without sleeping or letting myself relax, that’s just not the case. Same goes for working out – if I skip that, I know I’ll not only feel worse about myself, I’ll also miss out on an opportunity to burn off some stress and be more relaxed for the rest of the day.
Whatever your priorities are, I think it’s important to give yourself at least an hour or two every day to enjoy them – that way you stay sane, your relationships are better and you’re able to still enjoy a balanced life, rather than feeling like you just need a weekend away all the time.
Your Body Doesn’t Have to Be Destroyed
One of the biggest things that I was freaked out about while I was pregnant was that my body would be totally wrecked after having a baby. Yes, the first month sucks – there’s a lot of gross stuff that goes on with your body as it recovers from giving birth. However, what I didn’t count on was how incredibly pumped I would be to have a baby, and that really makes everything worth it. Our bodies are absolutely incredible, and I am beyond amazed by the miracle of birth.
That being said, I was really into working out and eating healthy while I was pregnant so I wouldn’t have too much weight to lose after giving birth. I lost 25lbs in 2 weeks after giving birth and I think a lot of that had to do with the steps I took to have a fit pregnancy . The photos above are from when my son was 3 months old, and I honestly think the weight was easy to lose because of good lifestyle habits, not because losing weight is easy for me (it’s not) or
While losing weight is definitely NOT the most important thing after having a baby, it is something that really affects your self confidence, and I felt like by staying in shape I was able to have a quicker recovery and get back to my version of normal in less time. Also – I really do think it’s not true that you can’t get back to your pre-pregnancy body after having a baby. Yes, it takes work, but I like my after-baby body better than my pre-baby body, and I haven’t seen a significant difference at all in my muscle tone or how I look in a bikini.
If you’re a little wary about how to get back to your goal weight after having a baby, I made a free download about lifestyle changes that I made that helped me lose 20lbs without a lot of effort or going to the gym.
How are you feeling about your life changing after having a baby, or has it already? What do you think were the biggest changes? Please leave a comment and let me know – I would love to hear what you’re loving or struggling with, and what kind of changes you’re dealing with.
